cycle: Dantes Peak BMT – Bad Movie Twins (2025)

Jamie

Hi, it’s Franchise Man and Patrick has really got me thinking about trilogies lately and how you can get a sense of where something is going by looking at a set of three. Why? Well the first film (Child’s Play in this case) is the sensation. Sometimes unexpected. So the first entry can be a bit weird and might not even feel like a film in the series once you are at entry five or six. The second (Child’s Play 2 in this case) is often a retread. Uh oh! We have a hit. Let’s churn something out quick while we get our bearings. Maybe we’ll just make up some bullshit why the killer actually didn’t die and now he’s back to finish the job. That way we have time to try to parse out what it was that got everyone hot and bothered from the first film so we can really crush that under the weight of lore in later entries.The third, that’s where you really settle in on what the series is about. So here we have Child’s Play 3 which definitely *check notes* oh wait, did they still not know what they wanted to do with the series yet?

To recap, Chucky is back, Jack! And this time… he still wants to kill that same kid from the first film. Gotta get into that sweet bod, I guess. Although, why doesn’t he just go after a different kid? What’s that? That’s eventually what he does try to do later in the movie? So why does he bother going to the military school in the first place? You know what? Nevermind. Let’s keep going. After the events of the first two films, Andy is now off to military school. There he is told to stop believing in killer dolls cause that’s dumb. Unfortunately, the Good Guy factory is getting back up and running and oops! Looks like Chucky’s blood splashed into the vat of plastic. So Chucky’s back, Jack! He finds out where Andy is and mails himself there. Meanwhile, Andy has a new young pal, Ronald, a new best friend, Harold, a new love interest, Kristin, and Brett… who sucks. Ronald finds the Good Guy package and Chucky is like “wait, why don’t I possess this bozo instead… or really any ol’ kid. Shit.” He start to but is thrown in the garbage before he can. Chucky proceeds with all kinds of hijinks. And by hijinks I mean killing a ton of people but not Andy and not Ronald and also he doesn’t possess anyone. Just kills them. Ultimately, despite the plethora of tragedy around them, the school decides to move forward with the annual war games. Chucky replaces the blanks for one team with live ammunition and it is CRAZY. Chucky flees to a nearby carnival (naturally) where Andy is able to finally convince Ronald that Chucky is bad and together they defeat him (or did they? (They didn’t)). THE END.

Alright, so the opening scene of this movie where they reopen the Good Guy factory is amazing. If there is a question about a not very good film with an amazing opening scene, this is a fine answer. After that? I’m sorry, but this doesn’t make any sense. Why Chucky is even pursuing Andy anymore is a total mystery. Any ol’ boy will do and instead he gets mixed up with the only person who knows what he’s up to. Thank god the whole film is ridiculous and we were having some fun with it. Military school setting? Love it. Carnival climax? Yes, please. But yeah, I’m not going to be saying this is a hidden classic any time soon. As for Critters 3… welp, they certainly lost the budget on that entry. That being said, setting the whole thing in an apartment building is a good idea and the weirdness of the characters and the critters themselves works. So for what they were working with they did an admirable job.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I kinda think Andy and Kristin are going to make it. Sure, I didn’t even need to mention her in the recap since the whole love interest storyline (and many other storylines) are totally extraneous to the plot. And sure, they don’t know each other and all she knows is that he’s mixed up with a voodoo demon doll. And sure, she never shows up in any other entries in the series. But… I feel like the spark is real. Hot Take Temperature: Melted plastic.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *gif of me as a creepy doll cackling and flipping off a little kid* Let’s go!

The Good? I love watching franchises. And I do love how unabashedly weird these films are. The first is genuinely an interesting and fun genre flick. The voodoo twist (which is right in the beginning and rather amusing, especially since it almost certainly comes from a bizarre interest in voodoo at the time see: Predator 2) is kind of fun, and there is a nice plausibility to just how incredulous everyone is about Chucky being real. They definitely just think that the little kid is a psycho. The second film is much more nonsensical, in that they feel the need to dispatch with the mother and they just run it back with people, again, just not believing in Chucky (multiple people saw him last time …). The third is as nuts, so I guess that’s a positive.

The Bad? The third is starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for ideas though. Military Academy? Running back the voodoo possession? Finale at the amusement park. It feels by the numbers, and boring to boot. I don’t really recall an interesting kill in the end. It is basically the issue with all late stage horror sequels.

The BMT? I don’t think this is notable enough to get there. It really needs to start getting wild, like Jason in Manhattan level, for the BMT juices to really start flowing. It is probably Bad.

We also watched Critters 3 as a friend. A young Leo, a completed trilogy, a creature feature in a decrepit apartment building. What more could you want? The film is genuinely quite fun, even though as usual films like this just have a lot of filler and often kind of look crappy. Leo is good though, and the film is one of the vaguely good horror-comedies of the time. Anyways, like it. I’ve liked all the Critters films I feel like. B+.

I went a little more sophisticated for the AI exploration this time. First, I uploaded the Child’s Play 3 trailer and asked for 10 keywords: Military School, Discipline, Training, Revenge, Possession, Violence, Horror, Stalking, Transference, Good Guys Doll. I’m going to guess that a lot of those are based on the audio, so I’ll check that on the next one I run. For now, obviously, “military school” is a fun one to look into. I do wish it would have picked up “theme park” since that is an unusual and unexpected feature of the trailer.

I fed the 47 films with the “military school” keyword into and 20 indicated that the poster suggests it is indeed set at a military academy. Taps is the only real one of note, and If… is a false positive, it takes place at a boarding school. That though is more of a problem with IMDb than anything else. There doesn’t seem to be a major omission from what I can see. If anything this all points to other avenues of attack. The theme park idea above would be evident from the trailer. The same could be said of Clifford. But it feels like we are years away from it being practical to feed in 50+ trailers (probably what? 4 hours of video, it would take weeks, or cost $5 which I’m still unwilling to pay for exploratory and useless work like this). But once that is possible it could get interesting.

Why not, a Product Placement (What?) for Playpen Magazine which features in the trailer. It loses its Setting cred here, we can presume they are still in Illinois, it is just not very obvious. The movie is very silly, but I think ultimately it is Bad like a lot of slashers are bad, boring with bad kills.

Learn all about dolls in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Hmmmm, maybe I’ll try and learn about voodoo? I don’t know. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Let’s keep it simple. Prior to the reboot, how many Child’s Play movies were released?

2) In the entire original run Brad Dourif (of BMT fame) voiced Chucky. In the reboot film though, he was voiced by a very famous voice actor (and very famous actor, although he’s mostly famous for a single series of live-action films). Who?

3) The director of Child’s Play 3 has become a huge television director in recent years. Including what Stephen King adaptation based on a trilogy of books about a retired police detective?

4) Child’s Play 3 was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the 1st Annual Chainsaw Awards by what famous horror-themed magazine?

5) Matthew J. Costello wrote the novelization of the second and third movies. He also wrote the novelization of what 1993 FMV puzzle adventure game produced by Trilobyte?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On October 1, 1992, just in time for spooky October movies, Child’s Play 3 premiered on Showtime. At 6:30 on TMC that same day this film played:

What is that film?

Answers

A column of flame wooshes to the ceiling as Patrick and Kyle put their finishing touches on the 1997’s Spawn themed dinner that has left both Jamie and Samantha laughing and applauding and making out with glee. From the Pie-olators savory pie medley to the Michael Chai & White chocolate fondue, it all delighted, but nothing more so than Hell on Earth: the record-setting banana flambé. After finishing thanking the representative from the Guiness Book of World Records who had confirmed that not only was this the largest banana flambé of all time, but also the most delicious, Patrick turns back to Jamie and Samantha. He takes a step back in shock when he sees that Jamie is down on one knee. His keys to love really worked! “Samantha,” Jamie begins, “I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I feel like we’ve already had our love tested. I haven’t always been perfect. Scott Bakula didn’t deserve to have his head fly off at his funeral. Patrick and Kyle didn’t deserve to have me become a mud baby in the face of losing my hearing. Through all that you still loved me and I didn’t deserve that.” Samantha tries to interrupt, but Jamie stops her. “No, you’re right. There is no deserving here. It is just the fact that through your love I found the strength of my own love for you.” There isn’t a dry eye in the house as Jamie launches the last bit of his speech. “I want to carve our names on the Wall of Lovers in your hometown. You are the Jason to my Friday the 13th. The Chucky to my…” But before he can finish Samantha rushes out of the restaurant in tears. Jamie is stupefied. “I didn’t mean she’s a monster.” That’s right! We are heading into one of the classics of the horror genre with Child’s Play 3. Chucky’s back, Jack! And why not pair that with an equally important third entrant in a trilogy: Critters 3. This time it’s personal or something. Let’s go!

Child’s Play 3 (1991) – BMeTric: 58.2; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.4%; Notability: top 10.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.7%; Higher BMeT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Cool as Ice, Critters 3, Problem Child 2, Suburban Commando; Higher Notability: Hook, Hudson Hawk, Flight of the Intruder, Mobsters, Necessary Roughness, Switch, Life Stinks, Out for Justice, F/X2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, Rock-A-Doodle, The Marrying Man, Rover Dangerfield, Married to It, Dutch, Oscar, King Ralph, Highlander II: The Quickening, Billy Bathgate, If Looks Could Kill, and 5 more; Lower RT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Critters 3, The Super, Run, Cool as Ice, Another You, All I Want for Christmas, Problem Child 2, Mobsters, The Marrying Man, Strictly Business, Drop Dead Fred, Oscar, The Hitman, Mannequin: On the Move, Curly Sue, One Good Cop, Nothing But Trouble, Suburban Commando, and 3 more; Notes: Played 46 times on cable in the 90s. Compared to Critters 3 (4 times) that ain’t bad. It was about the same for Highlander II, but the rest are more spotty. With these two we only have Suburban Commando in the top 7 BMeT for 1991.

New York Times – The most intriguing part of the film is the lifelike way Chucky walks, talks and slashes. He is actually played by several mechanical dolls and is an impressive technological achievement. But advancing the state of technology is probably not what the makers of “Child’s Play 3” had in mind.

(Slammed … but also the truth. The impressive bit of the films are how they mix and match the different tech with the doll. Compare this to the Leprechaun series where it is just Warwick Davis in a suit all the time forever.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3No1jTRSvg8/

(Hell on earth? Lol. Oh shit that is Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I kind of love this trailer. The movie looks like shit, but I love the twist in the middle where it is like wait … what is this movie about. And then Chucky pops up.)

Directors – Jack Bender – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: He won an Emmy as a producer for Lost, and was nominated a bunch of times for directing that series as well. He is mostly a television director, including Game of Thrones and Mr. Mercedes more recently.)

Writers – Don Mancini – ( Known For: Child’s Play; Bride of Chucky; Child’s Play 2; Child’s Play; Curse of Chucky; Cult of Chucky; Cellar Dweller; Future BMT: Seed of Chucky; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: One of the reasons this series plays so well with hardcore fans is mainly because Mancini has been heavily involved throughout the series. After the third the series, successfully, went full horror-comedy with the Jennifer Tilly character.)

Actors – Justin Whalin – ( Known For: The Dead Pool; Serial Mom; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; For the Cause; Blood of Beasts; White Wolves II: Legend of the Wild; Denial; Off the Ledge; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Dungeons & Dragons; Notes: Dungeons & Dragons is the big one, one of his rare leading roles. He seems to have at least semi-retired in 2009.)

Perrey Reeves – ( Known For: Mr. & Mrs. Smith; Old School; Plus One; Kicking and Screaming; Cosmic Sin; Smoke Signals; The Suburbans; An American Affair; Innocence; High Voltage; Future BMT: Entourage; American Dreamz; Undiscovered; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: Oh right, ha, she’s Frank’s wife in Old School. But probably more famously she appeared in Entourage a ton as Ari’s wife.)

Jeremy Sylvers – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: This is really it for him. He was in an episode of Saved by the Bell, but apparently uncredited.)

Budget/Gross – $13 million / Domestic: $14,960,255 (Worldwide: $20,560,255)

(That feels disastrous. Which I guess explains why there was a 7 year hiatus between the third film and the resurrected comedy series it became.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (3/16)

(If you look there is a mix of people basically being like “man, when they took this seriously the series sucked!” and people being like “man, when they took it seriously the series was awesome … well except for the third film I guess.” People universally hated it.)

New York Times Listing Description – Cute little killer doll had a certain wit. Now simply vile, bit like Jason, bit like early Terminator.

Poster – Voodoo Doll Curse 3: Still Cursed

(It is striking if a bit unimaginative. I like the font on the 3. I also remember these images really freaking me out as a kid in the video store. They’re pretty silly though. B.)

Tagline(s) – There comes a time to put away childhood things. But some things just won’t stay put! (C-)

Look who’s stalking (A)

(The first is clever but I don’t have to tell you it’s far too long. The second if quite funny. They nailed it with that one.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.0 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Wild Wild West (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Cool as Ice (1991), …

Best Options (1991-1991): 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 40.6 V.I. Warshawski (1991), 38.2 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 37.9 House Party 2 (1991), 33.6 Career Opportunities (1991), 32.1 Curly Sue (1991), 31.9 Scenes from a Mall (1991), 31.6 Another You (1991), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 30.5 Drop Dead Fred (1991), 29.7 Switch (1991), 28.9 He Said, She Said (1991), 28.9 Delirious (1991), 28.9 Eve of Destruction (1991), 28.5 Billy Bathgate (1991), 27.9 F/X2 (1991), 27.8 The Super (1991), 27.7 Life Stinks (1991), 27.6 Dying Young (1991), 27.2 Flight of the Intruder (1991), 27.2 If Looks Could Kill (1991), 27.1 Pure Luck (1991), 27.0 A Kiss Before Dying (1991), 26.8 Out for Justice (1991), 26.5 Mobsters (1991), 26.3 Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), …

(Hell yeah, we nailed this one. And we smashed out four movies in a week. And that is in no way depressing. Suburban Commando is a blind spot though, we should watch that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brad Dourif is No. 2 billed in Child’s Play 3 and No. 6 billed in Senseless, which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 3 billed) who is in Wicker Park (No. 3 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 6) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 3) = 18. If we were to watch Passenger 57, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Under pressure from Universal, screenwriter Don Mancini was asked to begin writing the third film even before the second film was released. Hence, this picture was released only nine months after Child’s Play 2 (1990). Mancini has called it his least favorite because he felt he was out of ideas so soon after the second installment.

This was the first film in the series to use computers to aid in Chucky’s puppetry – in order to perfect the lip-syncing.

The movie was the center of a tabloid panic in Great Britain, with one newspaper – The Sun – even demanding existing copies be burned. Journalists claimed the film had influenced two 10-year-old boys in their murder of a younger child, two-year-old James Bulger, although it was later determined that neither had actually seen this film.

John Ritter was originally supposed to appear as a security guard at the Good Guy Doll Factory in a sequence where some kids sneak into the factory and discuss the Chucky myth. Ritter later appeared in Bride of Chucky (1998) in a supporting role.

Don Mancini initially wanted to introduce the concept of “multiple Chuckys” in the movie but due to budget constraints, the idea was eventually scrapped. Mancini later used this concept 26 years later for Cult of Chucky (2017).

Jamie

I distinctly remember Spawn coming out. The comic was big in the household, but I was kind of young to read it… besides I never really got into comic books to that extent. That being said, Spawn looked cool and it was something fun to watch while over at a sleepover. Just young enough that things like Judge Dredd and Spawn were really toeing the line of “oh shit, things are getting real,” when it came to what we were allowed to watch. So we watched this at a sleepover. We had a ball. I remember loving it. Just laughing and laughing at The Pest star John Leguizamo. In fact that probably also factored into why we watched this movie. We loved The Pest. Anyway, that wasn’t the memorable part. The memorable part was coming home and having our older brother ask what we watched and us saying we saw Spawn and loved it and he was actually like… upset that we would find Spawn and particularly Leguizamo’s character funny in any way. One of those moments where I thought “wait, do I love things that everyone agrees is bad?” But that couldn’t be… because then maybe The Pest would be bad. Gasp.

To recap, Al Simmons is a CIA operative who kinda sorta is aware that maybe he’s the baddie. More specifically he’s getting suspicious that his superior Jason Wynn might be a baddie. Sensing he might be losing Simmons, Wynn sets up a job during which he explodes Simmons and sends him to Hell. When in Hell, Simmons is recruited to fight for a demon and lead Armageddon (coolio) in exchange for seeing his wife again. This is a monkey paw situation, of course, as he returns to Earth five years later and totally burnt to a crisp. His wife is remarried to his best friend and he starts to wonder about that deal he made. An old man named Cogliostro turns out to be devil spawn as well, but tries to guide Simmons towards a different path. A path of justice. But the demon helper The Violator is also guiding Spawn towards completing his agreement. Simmons, now Spawn, decides to ambush Wynn and almost kills him. Ultimately The Violator conspires to get Wynn to attach a bioweapon to his heart as protection against another ambush. But the real plan is to get Spawn to kill him and start Armageddon. Added incentive is a plan to kill his family. Ultimately they clash and Spawn is able to extract the bioweapon and is sent to Hell as punishment. He does battle with demon hordes and eventually is able to defeat The Violator and send Wynn to jail. Seeing that his family is happy, Spawn decides to dedicate his life to justice. THE END.

This is a very mixed movie. I actually think if they had perhaps chosen a bigger (and better, sorry Michael Jai White) star this might have worked enough to get middling reviews (i.e. not-BMT). And if they had followed through on doing at least some practical effects for Hell, then maybe it might have even risen further because they were really going for it in the film and by all accounts just ran out of time and money. Leguizamo is kind of amazing and there is some really striking practical effects for the monster he turns into. But the rest is real B-level, almost straight-to-video, action schlock. So it’s kind of hard to argue super strongly for the good. It’s fun though. I’m a bit surprised there hasn’t been more of a revisionist history on it. Even Martin Sheen, who is absolutely devouring every scene he is in, kinda fits today’s sensibilities of someone really going for it in a genre film. As for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, stop being dumb The Razzies. This is just not big enough to require a roasting by anyone. Clearly hijacked by Eszterhas and he’s a weird dude. All that being said… Stallone is kind of funny in it. I love Stallone.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Spawn’s wife’s marriage to Cutting Edge ain’t lasting. She just got a look at Spawn. Sure he’s roasted and toasted, but he’s also cut and has a cape that won’t quit. Spawn is moping around being like “guess I gotta just fight for justice now and let my family be.” What?! No way. You no longer have a weird clown following you around. You no longer are an employee of Hell. You got your whole… uh, life, I guess… kinda… ahead of you. Find a steady job and I give it 8 months before she’s back in your arms/cape. Hot Take Temperature: Full body burn.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me dressed as a clown, popping my own head like a balloon, and then farting real loud* Let’s go!

The good? The film is generally kind of fun and silly and there really isn’t much else like it out there. For all the grief I remember Leguizamo getting at the time, he makes the film just light enough to be reasonable.

The bad? The film is probably too dark to appeal today. I don’t know what they would really do with Spawn today, the 90s was just a different time. Just look at The Crow, or Fight Club, or Se7en. The filmmaking and storytelling was just generally grunge and dark, or at least had the room to unironically accommodate it. I don’t feel like there is that space today. But that doesn’t make the film bad.

The bmt? Probably. For Leguizamo alone the film is interesting, and it is weird and borderline good, and I kind of generally dug it. It is very much like The Crow in that same way. No, not the new one … definitely not the new one. The original The Crow.

Jesus … An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn is basically not a film? I don’t really know what I expected, but this certainly wasn’t it. This really appears to be a film that some random people make on a lark, thought would be funny (it isn’t) and then mostly panicked when they realized they had made an unfunny, plotless, trash film. Then they pulled off the most obvious stunt possible (taking the director’s name off the film to get Alan Smithee in there for real), and seem to try and play it off as a joke. The film is painfully unfunny, and just generally boring. The only weird redeeming feature is the subplot with Coolio and Chuck D helping Eric Idle out. C, you have to watch it for bad movie cred, but it ain’t good.

I decided to ask the AI to generate ten keywords for me for the film. This is what it came up with: Antihero, Hellspawn, Darkness, Justice, Mask, Red cape, Costume, Supernatural, Revenge, Demonic Powers. I don’t mind all of those except maybe Darkness (I guess, but pretty vague), and Justice (which like Darkness is really just because those two words are in the tagline). The best is maybe Red Cape, or Hellspawn. So let’s get ten more film having to do with Hellspawn:

Constantine (2005), End of Days (1999), Prince of Darkness (1987), The Prophecy (1995), Hellraiser (1987), Legion (2010), The Devil’s Advocate (1997), Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory (2011), Pumpkinhead (1988), Ghost Rider (2007)

I do think those qualify, although some are probably debatable (The Devil’s Advocate?) I suppose if I wanted something a little like this Ghost Rider is the closest. Antihero, Hellspawn, Justice, Mask (kind of), Costume (? Kind of), Supernatural, Revenge. It really ticks those boxes. You’d think the sequel would have done it. A little unforgivable that is thinks Paradise Lost has anything to do with this stuff though. Now, do I care about this stuff? Not really, mostly useless for what we do here at BMTHQ, but I certainly can see why someone without my vast computational resources would find this appealing.

The ultimate MacGuffin (Why?) of them all: revenge. And I honestly think that it is. There is some information about Spawn generally being in New York City, I honestly don’t remember if it was explicit in the film, but it is too unclear to bother. The film is BMT for Leguizamo’s performance alone.

Read about … clowns I suppose, in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

I wonder exactly how many demon questions I can do in this quiz … Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Todd McFarlane is famous for writing many comics including Spawn. Born in Calgary, Alberta, he also was at one point a co-owner of a hockey team, but not the Calgary Flames. What team did he co-own?

2) You couldn’t possibly make a Spawn film without a song by The Prodigy. Name either of their UK number-one singles.

3) The Violator is plagued by John Leguizamo in the film. Famously he classed with Steven Seagal in what film, a rare example of Seagal dying on film?

4) In the beginning of the film Al Simmons is sent on a mission to destroy a biochemical weapons plant in North Korea. Now … remember the Korean War, and MacArthur. I shall return, all that. What kind of pipe did MacArthur very famously pose with in many photos?

5) It has something to do with this movie, tangentially, but what is Tel Megiddo / why is it famous?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: A BMT oversight that is kind of unimaginable:

Can you name the film?

Answers

So despite his best efforts, Patrick avoided departing on an extended BMTverse adventure and yet still missed out on his real world adventure with Sly Stallone. “So he was here?” Patrick asks Kyle, who nods, the memory twinkling in his eye. “And you watched Cobra and Cobra 2: Crimedemic with him?” Kyle shakes his head and Patrick lets out a sigh of relief. That would have been too much for his heart to handle. “It was also Tango & Cash.” Patrick grasps for a nearby telephone pole to steady himself and instead finds himself grasping onto the rock hard bicep of Jamie. “We just wanted to come over and thank you,” Jamie says, cuddling up to Samantha. “That 2003 Celtics themed dinner consisting of PB&J sandwiches was exactly what I needed to tell Samantha how I truly feel.” When Jamie pauses to look over at Samantha, Patrick smiles a little. Maybe the four steps hadn’t been quite as easy as he had advertised, but the proof was in the pudding and that pudding was the love… true love… that he could now see shining in Jamie’s eyes. “But,” Jamie continues, “I was selfish in thinking only about myself when it came to this themed dinner. Perhaps not everyone wants a dinner themed entirely around the 2003 Boston Celtics.” Samantha squeezes his hand reassuringly, but Jamie presses on. “No, no I think we want another dinner and this time I want to make sure it’s something we both want.” Patrick is pleased. He starts to imagine what he could do culinarily around themes such as World Peace or A Summer Picnic. Even as his mind whirls around the many possibilities, Jamie and Samantha look at each other and simultaneously belt out the chosen theme: 1997’s Spawn. What thuuuuu… That’s right! We are watching Spawn. I remember watching this film when it came out and loving it. Thought it was hilarious. I was eleven. Nice. Less nice is we are pairing this with An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn as our Bring a Friend. One of the many films that makes you look at the Razzies and go “seriously?”. Let’s go!

Spawn (1997) – BMeTric: 60.1; Notability: 66

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.2%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Saint, Dante’s Peak, The Jackal, The Relic, The Postman, Flubber; Lower RT: Plump Fiction, The Peacekeeper, The Blackout, Fall, McHale’s Navy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Pest, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, Shadow Conspiracy, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Dangerous Ground, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, Chairman of the Board, and 15 more; Notes: I’m quite surprised by Batman & Robin (56 times on cable) and Speed 2: Cruise Control (64 times on cable). It must have been around this time people realized you could make boatloads putting relatively bad movies on cable a ton. Six of nine for the higher BMeT films, so this makes 7 of the top 10. The other three are, not surprisingly, the three kids’ films.

RogerEbert.com – 3.5 stars – “Spawn” is best seen as an experimental art film. It walks and talks like a big budget horror film, heavy on special effects and pitched at the teenage audience, and maybe that’s how it will be received. But it’s more impressive if you ignore the genre and just look at what’s on the screen. What we have here are creators in several different areas doing their best to push the envelope. The subject is simply an excuse for their art–just as it always is with serious artists.

(Wow, incredible review. I don’t necessarily disagree only because McFarlane is all about pushing the envelope, so it makes sense in a way. I still think the movie is pretty dumb and the acting bad though.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AypOgfPJWDU/

(On the verge of creation? What does that mean? By the way, this trailer could not be darker. And at times there is a strange white box on top and bottom, and the entire thing is in 4:3? Something tells me this isn’t the official trailer. It really really sucks.)

Directors – Mark A.Z. Dippé – ( Known For: Marmaduke; The Reef 2: High Tide; The Boxcar Children; The Boxcar Children – Surprise Island; BMT: Spawn; Notes: He was mostly a visual effects artist. This was pretty much his first directed film.)

Writers – Todd McFarlane – ( Known For: Spider-Man 3; Venom: Let There Be Carnage; Venom: The Last Dance; Future BMT: Venom; BMT: Spawn; Notes: Won an Emmy for the animated HBO series of Spawn.)

Alan B. McElroy – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Fractured; Wrong Turn; Tekken; Rapid Fire; Thr3e; Future BMT: The Perfect Guy; BMT: Spawn; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; The Marine; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; Left Behind: The Movie; Notes: Rapid Fire was a Brandon Lee film. We will obviously be watching The Crow this year since the bizarre remake is coming out.)

Mark A.Z. Dippé – ( Notes: This was his only real writing effort. He has something in development called Wicked City which sounds fake.)

Actors – Michael Jai White – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; Dragged Across Concrete; Black Dynamite; Blood and Bone; Freaky Deaky; 2 Days in the Valley; Why Did I Get Married?; Accident Man; Triple Threat; Falcon Rising; Skin Trade; Black Friday; Breakfast of Champions; Generation Iron; The Toxic Avenger Part II; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; City of Industry; Tactical Force; The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie; Vigilante Diaries; Future BMT: Why Did I Get Married Too?; Ringmaster; BMT: Universal Soldier; Spawn; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Exit Wounds; Universal Soldier: The Return; On Deadly Ground; Notes: Yeah, we’ve seem him in a lot of things. We even saw him in weird things like the Sudden Death sequel. Let’s plan on Ballistic at some point.)

John Leguizamo – ( Known For: John Wick; Ice Age; John Wick: Chapter 2; The Menu; Die Hard 2; Moulin Rouge!; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Encanto; Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs; The Lincoln Lawyer; Romeo + Juliet; Chef; Carlito’s Way; Doctor Dolittle; Violent Night; Land of the Dead; American Ultra; Assault on Precinct 13; The Infiltrator; Sisters; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Counselor; Ice Age: Collision Course; The Fan; Out for Justice; Love in the Time of Cholera; Revenge; Miracle at St. Anna; What’s the Worst That Could Happen?; Playing with Fire; Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; The Pest; Empire; The Honeymooners; Whispers in the Dark; BMT: The Happening; Gamer; Ride Along; Repo Men; Righteous Kill; Collateral Damage; Spawn; Super Mario Bros.; One for the Money; Notes: Nominated for two and one one Emmy for his stand up special Freak. Then he’s been nominated for two recent miniseries in Waco and When They See Us. The Fan is probably the movie I’m most excited to eventually see by him.)

Martin Sheen – ( Known For: The Departed; Catch Me If You Can; Apocalypse Now; The Amazing Spider-Man; The Amazing Spider-Man 2; Gandhi; JFK; Wall Street; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Selma; Judas and the Black Messiah; Badlands; The Dead Zone; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; The American President; Bobby; The Way; Gettysburg; The Double; Future BMT: Love Happens; The Believers; Hear No Evil; BMT: Spawn; Firestarter; Lost & Found; Notes: He was nominated for ten Emmys (and a few Daytime Emmys). He only won one, for a guest spot on Murphy Brown. The funniest cable movie I found was Boca which appears to be a dumb 9 1/2 Weeks knockoff.)

Budget/Gross – $40,000,000 / Domestic: $54,870,175 (Worldwide: $87,840,042)

(I mean, worldwide maybe, although given the year it probably didn’t do that well. Pretty close to breaking even, probably did on rental and home video in the end.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (8/47): Spawn is an overbearing, over-violent film that adds little to the comic book adaptation genre.

(Over violent is a bit weird I suppose. That does add something to the comic book adaptation genre. This was a fairly abnormal R-rated comic book movie.)

Reviewer Highlight: A moodily malevolent, anything-goes revenge fantasy that relies more upon special visual and digitally animated effects for its intended appeal than any comics-derived sci-fier to date. – Todd McCarthy, Variety

Poster – More like Yawn

(I’d have been excited for this film. It looks cool. Nice font. Overall it does the job and it does it efficiently. B+)

Tagline(s) – Born in darkness. Sworn to justice. (B)

(Sure. It’s not the most clever of taglines. I also quibble a little with it. I’m not a Spawn expert but I’m not sure I’d categorize his work (particularly in this film) as being “sworn to justice.” He’s still hellspawn, no? Anyway, this has some flow to it and is concise. Not bad even if possibly a bit inaccurate.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 58.0 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Wild Wild West (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Cool as Ice (1991), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), North (1994), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), …

Best Options (1997-1997): 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 57.6 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 57.6 Flubber (1997), 54.4 Gone Fishin’ (1997), 53.1 McHale’s Navy (1997), 52.4 The Pest (1997), 51.6 Kull the Conqueror (1997), …

(Obviously the best option from 1997. I wouldn’t have been opposed to something like The Pest though. That’s a weird as fuck movie too.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: John Leguizamo is No. 3 billed in Spawn and No. 4 billed in Righteous Kill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 4) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Martin Sheen agreed to star in this movie because he always wanted to star in a comic book movie. He later played another comic book role, Uncle Ben in The Amazing Spider-Man (2012).

John Leguizamo ate live waxworms on pizza for this film. He then vomited immediately after the take was wrapped.

Tim Burton was the original choice to direct.

Michael Jai White found Al Simmons’ character appealing; he described Spawn as “the most tragic character I’ve encountered in any cinematic production.” He says it was a challenge to make audiences sympathize with a government assassin who comes back from hell. White had to endure two to four hours of make-up work, including a full glued-on bodysuit, yellow contact lenses that irritated his eyes, and a mask that restricted his breathing. He said that his long-time experience with martial arts helped him endure the uncomfortable prosthetics, giving him “strong will and unbreakable concentration.”

Michael Jai White was actually set on fire for one scene.

Jamie

Major League: Back to the Minors has one specific BMT muscle it can flex and it better flex it because (hooooo doggy) that movie doesn’t have any other BMT leg to stand on. If you right now wanted to watch Major League: Back to the Minors you could. You would have to pay about $4 to stream it, but you could do that. We don’t like to do that at BMTHQ. Why not? Because we are brary bros and we support our local public library system. It’s a beautiful thing to engage in the community and receive the treasure that is a DVD and Blu-ray’s in the mail. It brings a tear to my eye. So could we do that with Major League: Back to the Minors? No. Not a single hard copy of the film exists in my library system or Patrick’s. It’s rare, but it does happen. Our local libraries looked at Major League: Back to the Minors, assessed its value to the community and said “nah.” Were we deterred? No! I sent out the brary bro signal to the heavens and got it from a different library system through a third brary bro. All this to say, you too can be a brary bro. Thanks Brary Bro Network (BBN)!

To recap, uh… Dorn is back, Jack?! I guess our boy Dorn didn’t learn his lesson from briefly owning the Indians and now he owns the Twins. He brings in Gus Cantrell as the coach of their AAA team, The Buzz. Gus is an aging pitcher on his last legs, but he knows what it takes to make a team. He ain’t taking guff from anyone, even his star player. Tanaka is back. Pedro is back. Rube is back. Some other guys. The minor league team is naturally a mess, in part because they are a bunch of misfits (you don’t say) and in part because they don’t work together (you don’t double say). Gus has a rivalry with the Twins manager, Leonard Huff, and as his team shapes up he finds himself challenging the Twins to an exhibition. They end up playing the Twins strong and Huff decides to shut off the stadium lights rather than risk losing. Everyone kind of knows the Twins choked and so Huff calls up the Buzz’s star player, Billy Anderson. Gus insists he’s not ready, but ultimately Billy chooses to go. Gus is able to rally his team and when Billy is sent back down, Gus helps him become a better player. Gus ends up challenging Huff again. The bet? If the Twins win, Huff gets Gus’s salary. If the Buzz win, Gus becomes the Twins manager. Long story short the Buzz win (duh), but Gus is like “I’d rather coach in the minors and not make way more money and shit. Whatever.” THE END.

Woooooooooooooof. This is an anti-comedy. Were there jokes? I can’t remember. My brain refused to comprehend that this was a film that was worth ingesting. No wonder the library systems didn’t have copies of this film. It probably acts like a black hole and sucks up and destroys the films that surround it. This really feels like a film where jokes were written and then some baseball consultant came in and removed them in order to add more baseball details. There is so much discussion of baseball strategy and it’s soooo booorrrrring. This is the most useless film of all time. Who wanted this? Why was this released to theaters? The fact that this qualified for BMT puts our whole venture into question. We must forget this happened. Trash this one. Junk it.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Gus would take the Twins job. This was a dude trying to pull a “frozen ball” trick in Class A+. He was no where near playing seriously anymore and had no managing experience. The fact that he is called on to manage a AAA team is a miracle. The fact that his team pulls another miracle and beats the Twins should let him know that it’s A-OK to take the money and hightail it to the majors. Once he’s a Major League manager he is set. Huge mistake. HUGE. Hot Take Temperature: A Minnesota summer.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *gif of me sitting in Twins Stadium very confused as to why the team is playing a Minor League team and people give a shit about an exhibition game* Let’s go!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF

This film is rough.

Check out the Major League II recap to learn about the delight that is Major League.

Alright, where to even begin. I suppose I should start with the good. There isn’t much. I enjoyed seeing a young Walter Goggins. And I liked the dumb ways they decided to bring people back even though the main character is a totally different person and the team isn’t even in the same system as the other films so that doesn’t even make a lick of sense.

The bad. I mean, the movie makes no sense. We are talking about minor league baseball here. No one cares about this. The idea that a minor league team goes on a tear and people are all jazzed up about it is nuts.

Equally nutty is the fact that people in Minnesota seem to care about the Twins (heyyyyyyooooooooooo). But for real, the idea that a sports fanbase would hate their coach so much they would actively root for their own farm team in a meaningless exhibition and like cheer the coach on in a restaurant. I lived through the Bobby Valentine era of the Red Sox and you’d just check out.

So mainly the bad is that the film is just incredibly dumb and nonsensical. It is a very light watch, but not one I would repeat.

So no I don’t really think it is a very BMT film. The second is. This is just the death throws of a series trying to figure out if a trilogy is even possible.

I’m still going to throw a Setting as a Character (Where?) for Minnesota here, I have no idea why they changed the team up except probably so they could play the final game in the Metrodome. Again a Worst Twist (How?) for the totally out of nowhere result that the good guys win and the bad guys lose. The film is Bad.

I assume we’ll learn all about Minor League baseball in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Jamie

I was just thinking the other day how infrequently I rewatch movies. If you look at films made from 2010 onwards I think I’ve only seen four or five more than once. This of course is totally different from the heyday of Comedy Central. I watched Major League and Major League II so many times that they legit melded into one three and a half hour movie in my head. Tanaka is in Major League as far as my brain is concerned. How did Jake both bunt to win the pennant and coach the ALCS? Parkman was the bad guy in both films, right? RIGHT?! This is just a byproduct of how we consume movies and how you can pretty much watch everything you want at the push of a button. Is that better? I can only assume so since if I grew up now I wouldn’t have watched Major League II a million times.

To recap, Wild Thang is back, Jack! What’s that? Wild Thing wasn’t really the main character of the first film? That’s true, but we need the young blood to take over as a romantic lead (wolf whistle, wolf whistle). It’s a new year and lucky for us viewers the team is back to their hilarious, hapless ways. Pedro is now a Buddhist. Willie Mays Hayes is an action star and wants to be a power hitter (not to mention having some botched plastic surgery that has left him looking like a totally different person). Wild Thing has a publicist GF that has him concerned about his bad boy image. Worst of all Jake Taylor is even older and being replaced by his nemesis Jack Parkman and a loveable dummy Rube. After the team is sold to former player Roger Dorn (ha!) they tell Jake he’s going to stay on as a coach. Things… they don’t go well. Parkman is almost immediately dugout poison and is traded for a Japanese player named Tanaka. Dorn, since it’s laughable he was able to buy a team in the first place, immediately has to sell it back to Rachel Phelps from the first movie. Again threatening to move the team (seriously?) the coach Lou has a heart attack and Jake has to take over. Things hit rock bottom with a big fight, which in turn sparks passion and a hot streak that takes them back to the postseason. Meanwhile Vaughn struggles with his uptight GF and a previously unmentioned ex-GF who liked his bad boy energy. In Game 7 of the ALCS, Vaughn is called out from the bullpen having regained his edge and smokes Parkman to win… presumably to lose in the World Series. THE END.

It’s amazing how many of the iconic Major League things I remember from my youth actually come from this, to be perfectly frank, much much worse sequel. So it has a lot of moments to remember, for sure. It just pales in comparison to the first film, which on rewatch is kind of perfect. It feels so authentic in its baseball team comedy kind of way. Rated R… is that for violence or nudity or anything? No. Not even the slightest. It’s simply because a bunch of ball players are talking like ball players. It’s kind of amazing. The second one just kind of sucks from the jump. Of course this is in part because they try to recapture the magic of the first film, but it feels like they ended up shrugging their shoulders. How do you take a team that just went to the ALCS and make it seem plausible they now suck again and might move? Any and every way possible. Doesn’t matter how hackneyed.They also made the movie PG! It’s insane. At one point Wild Thing (Wild Thing!) asks his ex-GF out to talk and they go on a pizza date. Are they 15? It’s a kids movie. It has no marbles.

Hot Take Clam Bake! While it may seem that I denigrated pizza right there by implying that I didn’t want a za date in my movie, that is wrong! I love pizza! In fact I’ll go a step further and say unequivocally that pizza… it’s good. I know, I know. Hot take. But it’s true. Bread. Tomato sauce, Cheese. A variety of toppings. Good. Tasty. I enjoy it. But also, wholesome. I enjoy eating za with my family on a Sunday night. If Rick Vaughn aka Wild Thing busted into my living room asking for some of that za I might be concerned. He’s a bad boy. He might punch me. He might eat all the za. He might, in fact, engage in a variety of not-very-PG behavior. Might be downright R-rated. You see where I’m going with this? Pizza: good. Pizza and Rick Vaughn aka Wild Thing: not good. Hot Take Temperature: A piping hot slice of za.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *gif of me walking out the door to BMTHQ while Wild Thing plays on blast and everyone cheers, I’m back baby!* Let’s go!

Here’s the thing … Major League is a very fun film, and an incredible cable film from the 90s. It played over 100 times on television and I’ve probably seen bits and pieces of the first a dozen times. It is fun and dumb and sure a bit racist but still fun. It just harkens back to a time when baseball was important you know?

The second one … well. Let’s start with the good. Berenger is fun. Uh, it is like one of those sequels which is just identical to the original. That was a very very 90s thing that is somewhat fun to revisit. That’s the good

The bad? Well, the film is somehow even more racist than the first! Specifically there is now a Japanese player which is hanging with Haysbert which is pretty startling to see in 2024. I actually wonder, is the character just a response to Japanese players entering the MLB? Or is it some knock-on effect of the general fear of the Japanese takeover that was still reverberating through Hollywood scripts or something? Who knows.

And then the entire thing is also inevitable, but with no tension since you know the eeeeeeeevil baseball player has to be defeated in the end.

Did I mention that Charlie Sheen’s character tries to go straight throughout the film much to his dirtbag fanbase’s chagrin. And he has an embarrassing apartment, a whole girlfriend character we’ve never met before, and a rehashed storyline whereby he wants to save his career by throwing changeups and shit.

The film is genuinely very bad … but in a pretty amusing way. Outside of the racism. That isn’t amusing.

In the end then yeah, I think this is a pretty entertainingly bad film. And it is nice that we are working through our baseball bad movies. Actually … I’m going to check that.

So yeah, I don’t really count the baseball keyword from IMDb (but like … I’m looking at you Hook). But even just looking at the wikipedia we have a few left. How Do You Know from 2010, in which someone gets cut from the Softball Olympic Team. The Scout, The Fan, Mr. Baseball, The Slugger’s Wife, Little Big League, Brewster’s Millions, Mr. Destiny, Taking Care of Business, Stealing Home, and The Final Season. Jesus, we have a lot of baseball films left.

There is an actual in-movie Product Placement (What?) for Right Guard that Charlie Sheen is in. Obviously, still a Setting as a Character (Where?) for the always hapless Cleveland, Ohio. And, sure a Worst Twist (How?) for the obvious result that the team unexpectedly makes the World Series in the end. This film is hilariously BMT IMO, just aggravatingly weird dumb.

Learn all about Celeveland and sports in the Quiz I assume. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Oh man, I guess I’m going to have to learn about minor league baseball … that sounds like no fun if I’m being honest. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) The film’s finale takes place in the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. For whom was Hubert Humphrey vice-president?

2) The first film was written by David S. Ward, and he is still talking about making a proper third film and banishing this one to the Phantom Zone. Ward was nominated for two films. One, a caper film from 1973, and the other a romantic comedy from 1993. Name either.

3) Minor League baseball. We’ve seen a film about Minor League Baseball (kind of, Summer League Baseball really). Summer Catch with Freddie Prinze Jr. What league did they play in in that film?

4) The song Turning Japanese by the Vapors featured heavily in the film. It also features in another film starring Chris Farely. Can you name that film?

5) Walter Goggins played Billy ‘Downtown’ Anderson in the film. He has also been nominated for two Emmys. One for Justified. And another more recently for a popular television show based on a video game. Name that show/video game.

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: Going up against Back to the Minors’ primetime debut was this sequel. The original, in a funny connection, starred Tom Berenger. What is the original film called?

Answers

Sports right? I’m definitely going to learn about sports. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Well, we’ll get to sports. First, in a fun reference there is a business in the film called Emilio’s [BLANK] Service, named after an Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton movie. What word fills in the blank?

2) Alex Cox directed Repo Man, and also the film Walker about William Walker, the famous … filibuster? Turns out that is a name given to people during the Manifest Destiny era of the United States who went into neighboring countries and established colonies in preparation for annexation. Walker was notably the president of what country for a brief time?

3) Wild Thing was listed as number 257 on Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time in 2004. Who performed the most famous rendition of this song?

4) The Cleveland Indians are now the Cleveland Guardians. What are they named after?

5) And further, the Cleveland Guardians were originally the Grand Rapids Rustlers. Between 1900 and 1914 the team was the Cleveland [BLANK], name any one of the four other names (not Indians or Guardians) the team took on during that period.

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On March 4th, 1995, Major League II premiered primetime on HBO. At the same time, on channel 55, this film played:

What is that film?

Answers